Abuse, Isolation and Helplessness

Things just hit me after a recent sexual assault. (Something that is a common occurrence for me due to the circumstances surrounding my life.) I keep feeling like I’m holding my breath and not breathing at all. I think I know how to interpret these feelings, but, honestly, I get my emotions and bodily sensations […]

I’m Worthless in Other’s Eyes

I’m worthless in other’s eyes. Plus the fact that I can barely afford to do anything with my life makes me even more worthless. I have to remind myself of this to remember why it is that I have no will to do much of anything or try anything anymore. Why it’s so hard to […]

Therapy actually left me uplifted

I know the positive feeling won’t last. Getting encouragement in life apparently makes a big difference in me, and it makes me realize that it’s something I haven’t gotten much of in my life. Of course, my family never encouraged me in anything (unless they were encouraging me to do something they wanted). And I […]

If I Was Pretty

I didn’t used to see the point of appearances. I never thought too hard about what I looked like. I just lived my life. But after getting used to a life of near-isolation for several years, the concept feels different to me. I kind of wish I was pretty. I mean, I always wish I […]

When People Tell You You Have No Right to Complain

I don’t know how dumb a person has to be to think that they can assume what it’s like to be another person. If a person says something like, “I’m sorry, but other people have it worse. You have no right to complain,” to someone they don’t know then they either have brain damage, have […]

Still Can’t See a Point to Being Alive for People Who Don’t Get to Feel Alive

I can pet cats. That’s nice. I can watch youtube videos of animals or babies. That’s nice. It’s okay, really. It’s okay. It’s comforting when you’re sick or in pain or your nervous system won’t behave. So, you’re comforted. Now what? Sleep is also comforting. The absence of living, waking life is comforting. So what? […]

Happiness, from an exhausted person’s perspective

Right now, I feel even too exhausted to write this. Feels like I’m at the last stretch of a marathon and having to use a lot of energy to put one foot in front of the other. But really, I’m trying so hard to use my brain to think of words and to hold my […]

Goals in Life

Feel Okay (no nagging pains and discomfort that keep me from being able to focus on accomplishing much) Feel Good (not just okay, but able to actually feeling something positive beyond just lacking the bad things) Be Able to Handle a Job (without being miserable or finding it impossible to maintain any sense of well-being. […]

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