What Did I Do Today? What Do I Do Any Day?

It’s noon. I’ve been way too exhausted and sleep caught up with me. I slept the whole morning. I know I’ve been feeling off lately and going to bed later than usual hasn’t been helping. I still feel a little tired. The good news is that I feel more centered and less-scattered brain, confused, lost …

Focusing May Be the Only Therapy for Alexithymia

I started a new kind of therapy. It involves focusing on your emotions and acknowledging them. There is not emphasis on problem-solving or doing anything about them. This is actually kind of refreshing for me. I’ve spent so much time running around in circles trying to solve problems. The interesting thing is that focusing on …

Staying Shut Down to Stay Sane During Loneliness and Trauma

Something finally clicked for me. I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to explain this in words. I’d been thinking about some confusing and traumatic regarding my abuisve family too much lately. I didn’t realize how deep it was sending me into a bad place. Of course, I want to reach out to someone …

I Got Slimed By My Therapist

ShudderI’m too tired to write about this right now, but if I let fatigue get in the way of doing things, I wouldn’t get anywhere in life.Here it goes. I spent a therapy session Tuesday explaining how my relationship with my pseudo-brother and caretaker came to be as well as hinting at some of the …

What Negation Does to You

Note: I’m referring to the negation of self that happens when one is abused, invalidated or deals with lack of money and resources, illness or other issues that lead to loss of rights and freedoms. You have no sense of direction. You think of cleaning your room or house, but why do it? Why pack, …

Exhausted of Life.

I’m tired. In multiple sense of the word “tired”. I feel exhausted. The pain and discomfort in my body is probably the main source of that. I’m hoping I’ll feel less physically exhausted when I give my body some self-care. I’m mentally exhausted. I can tell my brain’s starting to go offline a little. Trying …

If I Was Pretty

I didn’t used to see the point of appearances. I never thought too hard about what I looked like. I just lived my life. But after getting used to a life of near-isolation for several years, the concept feels different to me. I kind of wish I was pretty. I mean, I always wish I …

We’re Not Allowed to Feel

But we are allowed to be distracted. I couldn’t stay awake any longer. My body collapsed and I fell into a deep long sleep. I unfortunately woke up to the him coming home, paying no heed to me and exiting the room. A feeling of dread like a dark cloud came over me and enveloped …

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