Powerlessness and Resignation

“It’s not that bad. What can you expect out of life anyway? Not that much. And everyone’s in pain, sick, miserable, etc. You’re just having such high expectations out of life. No one really lives these days anyway. You’re lucky compared to others, blah blah, blah.” These are often the thoughts in my head. But […]

If I Was Pretty

I didn’t used to see the point of appearances. I never thought too hard about what I looked like. I just lived my life. But after getting used to a life of near-isolation for several years, the concept feels different to me. I kind of wish I was pretty. I mean, I always wish I […]

Still Can’t See a Point to Being Alive for People Who Don’t Get to Feel Alive

I can pet cats. That’s nice. I can watch youtube videos of animals or babies. That’s nice. It’s okay, really. It’s okay. It’s comforting when you’re sick or in pain or your nervous system won’t behave. So, you’re comforted. Now what? Sleep is also comforting. The absence of living, waking life is comforting. So what? […]

We’re Not Allowed to Feel

But we are allowed to be distracted. I couldn’t stay awake any longer. My body collapsed and I fell into a deep long sleep. I unfortunately woke up to the him coming home, paying no heed to me and exiting the room. A feeling of dread like a dark cloud came over me and enveloped […]

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