The desperate search for peace and comfort

My whole life is a desperate search for comfort. Or, in other words, a desperate attempt to escape pain and discomfort. I just really need metal. Hard, aggressive insane metal. I don’t think listening to metal would be a need if I could find peace. I don’t know why metal is so comforting. I don’t […]

No one ever cares about the chronically ill

My body was failing me, and I ended up living with the relative of a friend. I kept thinking I could make it work, that I could get a job, but my body and brain were failing me. For no apparent reason, she kicked me out. She claimed the only reason she let me live […]

Exhausted of Life.

I’m tired. In multiple sense of the word “tired”. I feel exhausted. The pain and discomfort in my body is probably the main source of that. I’m hoping I’ll feel less physically exhausted when I give my body some self-care. I’m mentally exhausted. I can tell my brain’s starting to go offline a little. Trying […]

New Year’s Eve. I’ve Learned How to Not Celebrate. Any Holiday.

After not being able to celebrate most holidays for several years, I’ve learned to accept not having anything to look forward to and to no memories being made. For better or worse, I am one with the nothingness. The silence. The deadness. I have become accustomed to it to where I don’t dread it or […]

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