Still Looking for Something

Such a confusing day. I thought my brain was working but I guess it wasn’t. (That may sound odd, but it happens to me a lot. It isn’t till my brain starts working that I realize something was off.) It wasn’t till the night that things seemed to be running smoothly. I hate that the …

I Feel a Little Sick, and, Yes, It Was Worsened By Things That Upset Me

Ugh, my stomach feels gross. I really wish I had someone to talk to to tease apart everything that was happening that set me off emotionally and caused me to feel sick to my stomach. (Note: I apologize if anyone has been trying to communicate with me. I have to really to brace myself for …

Staying Shut Down to Stay Sane During Loneliness and Trauma

Something finally clicked for me. I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to explain this in words. I’d been thinking about some confusing and traumatic regarding my abuisve family too much lately. I didn’t realize how deep it was sending me into a bad place. Of course, I want to reach out to someone …

Jealous of People Who Can Go Places | Managing to Stay Awake During the Day

Wow. I feel a swelling in my throat. I want to cry. I’m desperate. The feeling of desperation has been growing throughout the day. (This is not an unusual phenomenon for me.) One thing that is unusual about this today is that the swelling in my throat is more painful than usual. It’s painful because …

Why I Hate Life

Life mostly consists of activities that I hate, such as: Reading Talking to myself/having no one to talk to Being on the computer (I hate most computer activities) Eating alone Obnoxious noise from the highway or household appliances Random pains in my body Having no one to really celebrate holidays with Trying to listen to …

We’re Not Allowed to Feel

But we are allowed to be distracted. I couldn’t stay awake any longer. My body collapsed and I fell into a deep long sleep. I unfortunately woke up to the him coming home, paying no heed to me and exiting the room. A feeling of dread like a dark cloud came over me and enveloped …

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