Why I didn’t want to be cured of depression

When I was younger, I thought depression just meant you couldn’t be happy like everyone else. And, of course, I wasn’t happy the way everyone else was (or seemed to be). I think my thought was “I do not feel happy, therefore there is something wrong with me. Therefore, I am supposed to see a […]

What Negation Does to You

Note: I’m referring to the negation of self that happens when one is abused, invalidated or deals with lack of money and resources, illness or other issues that lead to loss of rights and freedoms. You have no sense of direction. You think of cleaning your room or house, but why do it? Why pack, […]

Abuse, Isolation and Helplessness

Things just hit me after a recent sexual assault. (Something that is a common occurrence for me due to the circumstances surrounding my life.) I keep feeling like I’m holding my breath and not breathing at all. I think I know how to interpret these feelings, but, honestly, I get my emotions and bodily sensations […]

I’m Worthless in Other’s Eyes

I’m worthless in other’s eyes. Plus the fact that I can barely afford to do anything with my life makes me even more worthless. I have to remind myself of this to remember why it is that I have no will to do much of anything or try anything anymore. Why it’s so hard to […]

Therapy actually left me uplifted

I know the positive feeling won’t last. Getting encouragement in life apparently makes a big difference in me, and it makes me realize that it’s something I haven’t gotten much of in my life. Of course, my family never encouraged me in anything (unless they were encouraging me to do something they wanted). And I […]

Exhausted of Life.

I’m tired. In multiple sense of the word “tired”. I feel exhausted. The pain and discomfort in my body is probably the main source of that. I’m hoping I’ll feel less physically exhausted when I give my body some self-care. I’m mentally exhausted. I can tell my brain’s starting to go offline a little. Trying […]

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