When People Tell You You Have No Right to Complain

I don’t know how dumb a person has to be to think that they can assume what it’s like to be another person.

If a person says something like, “I’m sorry, but other people have it worse. You have no right to complain,” to someone they don’t know then they either have brain damage, have lived in a cult their whole lives, or are playing stupid just to be a troll. (What kind of argument is, “Other people have it worse therefore your experience of life is completely negated”??)

The horrible truth is that, even though I know the person likely has some cognitive difficulty or is just a troll or bully, it still affects me negatively.

It’s partly because we need people. And if the whole world is cold and lacking in empathy, then people who are outspoken in their cold-heartedness are just another reminder that we are completely alone as well as unloved.

But also, I guess the truth is that something deep down inside me wants to side with their negation of anyone else who has to suffer through life. Something inside me is way too exhausted and just wants a troll to tear me apart, to throw me over the edge. I’m so tired of this life, and I need an excuse. I need these trolls to really prove, once and for all, that you can quit trying, that the world does not support you and will not offer help, love or compassion. To stop holding onto hope or just simply holding on while waiting in agony and getting exhausted by every move you make, every attempt to be somewhere in life. I’m tired of just being a foot past the edge, holding my breath, feeling nothing but feeling the oxygen deprivation build up inside me while feeling the tension build up in my body. I just want to be somewhere, not just teetering over the edge. I just want to fall over. It feels better to quit telling myself I’m satiated when I really just need food.

I’m tired of knowing no oasis exists for me in this world, dragging myself through a never-ending mess of filth. But telling myself, “It’s okay,” the whole time. “Everything’s okay. Things are okay. Life is okay. You are so lucky.” But feeling nothing the whole time.

Holding my breath. Holding my breath.

I’m tired of having no excuse to say much of anything because I feel nothing.

When someone says something cold-hearted, it’s like they’ve just proven to you that all human empathy is a joke. The world’s just laughing at you. No one is ever going to be there for you. They say it with confidence and determination, “I’ll tell you when it’s okay to feel bad and when you should just shut up and smile! There are no excuses, no reason that I will allow you to voice your needs or feelings!”

The pure lack of empathy and compassion is horrifying. Is this how all fortunate, happy people think about people less fortunate than them??

Honestly, when I think of some people I knew who had this sort of attitude, they were usually dishonest and self-centered people who never had any big problems last long in their lives because they’d lie, steal, or cheat to get what they needed. (Or they’d lie, steal, and cheat to get things they didn’t even need.) Those were the types of people who were quick to judge people who were unhappy, suffering or struggling. They seemed to have a sense of disgust for anyone who had to suffer.

Do people live in such a happy-go-lucky world that they are truly oblivious to the needs and suffering of people around them? Yes, apparently they do. They’re the calm, content people laughing at you. The pretty people who are well-fed, loved and always taken care of who never had a reason to fight. Or the people who vomit every day to stay skinny but don’t see the tragedy in it.

Life is constant suffering and it doesn’t have to be that way. It shouldn’t be that way. Just because someone is starving somewhere else doesn’t mean it makes it okay for other people to suffer because they aren’t as skinny or have more food to eat. Doesn’t mean it’s all of a sudden fine that other people have to go through what they go through. It’s still wrong. It’s all bad. One more person starving doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to feel good.

But it’s funny, because that’s what people really believe. Whoever is the poorest, that’s the only person that matters. If you’re slightly less poor, than you don’t matter. You better get yourself to be as poor as them so that you have a right to complain and people will care and quit comparing you to the next person who’s worse off than you. It’s like a competition for who’s worst off. If you’re not the worst off, then you get no love or compassion so you better shoot yourself. The world will only scorn if you are honest.

Published by illnessislife

Sick of being so sick I can't live life. But it's been so long like this that I accept it. Illness is life. I have no other life.

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